NO PROMISES, NO AGREEMENT!
Promises are key to being a good Master because they create a sense of balance in the relationship. While it’s expected that a submissive will always treat their Master with respect and follow the rules that they’ve been given, it’s only natural that a guarantee is given in return. If this were a legal contract, something must be given for something received, or it isn’t a contract at all.
This framework takes the form of “Promises” and while it isn’t as detailed as the rules for a submissive, it covers those things that a submissive may worry about. The care and respect they deserve (no matter how they choose to be treated) can’t change as the relationship goes on. This needs to be a point of grounding and stability regardless of whatever might be going on in their lives.
Promises help the Master as well because respect never comes from simply calling yourself a Master. It is the even-handedness and consistency that comes from living to a code. If your submissive sees that you can be counted on to always live up to your promises, they will respect you far more than if you are erratic, or go back on what you’ve said you believe. If a “master” cannot control themselves and live up to their promises, how can they justify their control over others? And why would a submissive stay with a Master like that?
There is no reason that a prospective or existing submissive can’t create an outline of these promises to present to their Master when they are agreeing the rules but but no matter where they come from they are to be agreed as well and the submissive is to have a say in this. Remember: submission is a gift and is never something that is to be without consent. (I did think that the post image was appropriate.)
I’d suggest that at a minimum, your Master promises:
- To care for your (their submissive’s) mental and physical health.
- To respect your needs, desires, curiosities, hard limits, and timing constraints.
- To punish you reasonably for breaking the rules or not showing respect.
- To immediately stop whatever is occurring, the moment you utter your safe word.
- To respect your decision to end the relationship at any time for any reason unless a contract specifies otherwise. (I strongly recommend an “out” clause in any contract.)
- To NEVER strike you in any way not agreed to, and NEVER out of anger or frustration.
If this is a full-time relationship, there would also be more promises about helping you to achieve your goals and ensuring that your outside life isn’t negatively impacted by this relationship. They may also add specific promises to do with your hard limits such as promising never to leave visible marks or sharing you with others. While the limits themselves are enough, it is good practice for a Master to clearly state that they recognize these within the promises.
There’s more in the Training and Rules section, which covers:
- Communication Rules (The first step)
- Defining Desires and Hard limits
- Sample Rules
- And more!
I’m also “flogging”, my 2 Dark Mirrors books. While fiction, they are based on actual sessions and the wonderful submissives I’ve enjoyed as a Dom/Master.
Part 1: Desire (free)
Part 2: Release
Find out more here
Post image has been cropped. Original courtesy of Alexander Krivitskiy @ Pexels.com
